Saturday, June 20, 2009

Missing Dad for 1 year

I can't believe I got through a year without my Dad. But I have. I've cried a lot, especially when nobody was looking. Some days I'm angry. Others I'm sad. I've had a few moments where I've almost accepted it. In the end, I still question why God took my Dad when he had so much to live for.

I'm not focusing all that well this morning, so I'll end with this poem that I read at Dad's visitation. many images come to mind
whenever I speak your name;
It seems without you in my life
things will never been the same.

What happened to those lazy days
when I was just a child;
When my life was consumed in you
in your love, and in your smile.

What happened to all those times
when I always looked to you;
No matter what happened in my life
you could make my gray skies blue.

Dad, some times I hear your voice
and turn to see your face;
Yet in my seems
the sound has been erased.

Dad, who will I turn to for answers
when life does not make sense;
Who will be there to hold me close
when the pieces just don't fit.

Oh, Dad, if I could turn back time
and once more hear your voice;
I'd tell you that out of all the dads
you would still be my choice.

Please always know I love you
and no one can take your place;
Years may come and go
but your memory will never be erased.

Today, Jesus, as You are listening
in your home above;
Would you go and find my daddy
and give him all my love.


Anonymous said...

I was there the day you were born, and the love and joy in your Fathers eyes when he first held you. He was afraid you would break! He may have been tough on you while growing up, but he loved you and only wanted the best for you.
I was there the day of your Air Force Graduation,and the pride in his eyes.
He had the same pride the morning that Calvin was born!
In my heart I know you fulfilled all the dreams and wishes you Dad ever wanted for you. You are a stong and a intelligent, beautiful woman. I along with you Dad are very proud to have you as a daughter.
On this day I think of your Father, he was a good honest caring man, and one that I had the fortune of having in my life.

Lacey said...

This was a beautiful post, and a beautiful poem.

Mrs R said...

I will be thinking of you. The poem was beautiful. I got a little teary eyed reading it.

Bridget said...

Christina, I have had you on my mind so much today. Your name popped in my head the moment I woke up today when I started thinking about our plans. I know that sounds weird but its true. I wanted to text you but I didn't want to upset you if you happen to be having an okay moment because I knew it would make you sad. This was a great post and I am so glad that you had the strength to do it.

Dawn said...

I've thought about you and your father so much in the last few days. Still thinking of you. If you need anything, PLEASE call. Much love. Always.

Mommynightowl said...

this poem made me cry.

I hope you are doing well.

HH said...

Tears. That is all I can really say. Your dad has given others someone they can aspire to. And this post has given fathers someone to look up to and aspire to be. I didn't really know your dad, but he sounds like he was the best. I hope my little girl thinks of me the same way you think of you father. Much Love and keep your head up, he's lookin down on you and smiling. You are in my prayers.