Thursday, May 7, 2009

Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater!

Blogging Away just posted a link to this other blog post at That Girl Emily, a random blog she came across.  I clicked over to it and was totally cracking up!  Carolyn, this will make you laugh!  If you've ever been cheated on, this woman did all of the mean things you really wanted to do.  Enjoy. 

"Day 14. This is the grand finale. I really want to stick it to Steven one last time. And I wanted to make sure he was going to have plenty of time to contemplate what has happened to him and why.


And he’ll have the time while on hold, waiting for countless automated services and operators… See, the first thing I did was cancel all his credit cards by calling in and saying they were stolen. Same with his cell phone. Same with his online DVD membership. Same with his gym membership. I went online and changed the password to our bank account and changed the pin number to our ATM cards. I canceled Steven’s car insurance and reported his car stolen. I put an ad in a newspaper with Steven’s work phone, saying he had a fabulous 750 square foot studio apartment in Soho available for a steal--$300/month and to call him 24/7—can only imagine the message overflow! I made sure the post office will now forward all of Steve’s mail to an old folk’s home. And I signed him up for dozens of magazine subscriptions, such as “Guns and Ammo,” “Girls and Corpses,” “Creative Knitting” and “Boy’s Life,” to be sent to his office and I checked the “bill me later” box.These past 14 days, I’ve done everything to make Steven’s life a living hell. It’s definitely been cathartic but I also realize I haven’t had much time to simply work all of this out in my own mind. To really absorb what’s happened to me. So I’m sure I’ll still be sad sometimes. But at least I’ll know I never took it sitting down."




...


"I’m signing off for now… but one final word: next time you’re tempted to cheat, think once, twice or however many times it takes – and if you need to, think of that girl Emily."

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