Thursday, July 31, 2008

"Mom, Jesus Died..."

This evening we were at Cole and Alicia's wedding rehearsal dinner (their big day is tomorrow!). Out of the blue, Calvin looked at me and Chris and very matter of factly stated,

"Mom, Jesus died."

Me: "Yes Calvin, Jesus died."

Calvin: "We buried him???"

Me: "Yes, when Jesus died his friends and family buried him."

Calvin: "We did???"

Me: "No... Jesus died a very long time ago. Such a long time ago that it was before Daddy and I were alive. Ask Grandma Susan, maybe she remembers."

Calvin: "Oh... Papa Doug died, too. We miss him."

Me: "Yes, we miss Papa Doug very much and we are still very sad."

Calvin: "I miss Jesus, too."

Seriously, where do kids get this stuff??? Jesus died?!? He's 2 (almost 3) - he shouldn't even know about death, yet. With two big funerals this Summer, he is so totally in the know of people dying, casket (although we call it a bed), and the burial. He knows that when people die they go to heaven and are with the angels. He even knows that you're supposed to be sad when someone dies. I feel like he has grown-up a lot this Summer - really matured - even beyond what he should have.
At Lisa Addis's funeral he hugged me through the entire mass, wiping away my tears, and giving me so many kisses. He got so worn out from taking care of me that he finally fell asleep in my arms. He still kept hugging me, letting me know he was just a dream away if I needed anything.
I am so fortunate to have the sweetest little boy that is full of hugs, kisses, and smiles.


Amanda M said...

Did you take Calvin to your fathers funeral and visitation? I am still struggling with what to do when the time comes?

Christina said...

We did take Calvin to both. Infact the morning Dad died the family headed to the hospital to see him (even though he had already passed away). My mom kept him the 1st time we went. But, then we came home and sent her home. When my brother Joe got to town from Chicago, we all went back to the hospital. People watched Calvin outside the room. Finally, Chris said that Calvin was demanding to see his Papa Doug. We had already explained that Dad had died. And, Dad looked sooo good - and didn't look as dead as I knew he would in the casket so we allowed Calvin to come into the room. Dad was in the St. Joseph room in the basement of the hospital where it is very tasteful and nice.
It is a big decision. But, I will promise you that children are needed to give others hope. Their hugs are priceless in times like this. So many people asked for a hug from Calvin... an innocent baby that has many features like my dad. I watched my grandparents look at Calvin like they were going back in time and watching my Dad when he was a child.
I would suggest that when the time comes up you have someone there to help take care of Nick. It makes it so much easier. I thought I could do it without anyone else's help. Luckily there were people that helped wih him because if he would have had to stand hugging people for over 6 hours he would have driven me nuts!
P.S. I have a black suit that is size 2T. I got it at Burlington coat factory. You are more than welcome to borrow it... when the time comes.

Dawn said...

Calvin is a very insightful little boy. He just picks up on things. And I think for him it was best for him to experience the funeral and visitation. I'm sure he didn't understand it all but I think it probably helped give him some type of closure.
Amanda, you will know what is right for you when the time comes. I do think Christina is right that it helped people give something to look forward to. And don't turn down the help.

Amanda M said...

I would actually love to not go out and buy something if you are willing to let me borrow. Email me and maybe we can make arrangements. I will be in effingham until further notice.