Monday, March 10, 2008

Terrible Two's

I thought Calvin already hit his terrible two's. Then, this last week it really kicked in - and it seems to get worse every day! I am not joking that if it gets much worse we are going to consider shipping him off to some foreign land. Is he too young to enlist in the military?!? ;-) We'd consider sending him to a Grandma's or even his Dad's... but that would never get anything solved because they would just give in to him.

Ugh... He argues with everything we say. I could tell him I'm Mom and he will argue that he's Mom. At first it was a little cute... now it is frustrating... and has expanded into him doing anything to defy us. Just 2 minutes ago while I was working on homework he went over to the wall outlet and unplugged everything. Then, after I explained that he needed to leave things alone that weren't his and tried to get him to enjoy one of his fav. shows he went into my bedroom and started pulling things out of my drawers. Of course that upset me because it was intentional and that hurts. Yesterday he was mean... an I am serious...mean... to me all day. He wanted nothing to do with me and would only talk to Chris. And he wasn't all that nice to Chris, either. Most of the times I talked to him he ignored me. And if he yelled for something and I answered he would only scream his need louder and then add "Chris," to his demand so that Chris would answer him. I had hoped that waking up this morning would bring a new day full of Calvin love but I think that was only wishful thinking.

At one point I considered tha this may be Calvin's way of telling me that I'm not giving him enough attention. So, I've made an extra effort to do fun things with him. It doesn't change anything and fun time with him is no longer much fun since he's so mean.

He is going through an independent stage where he wants to do everything himself. "My do it" is what he screams at me when I help him get dressed, put in the bath, wipe his butt - whatever - he screams at me. I think it's great that he is becoming his own person but he needs to be respectful of me and other adults.

I am seriously dreading when we pick him up after our honeymoon. He will be spending 5 days with his dad and my Grandma... he always comes back with an attitude that I have to readjust when he stays with either of them for even 1 day. So, I can only imagine after 5 days it will take me a 1/2 week or more to get him to listen and behave.

At what point does this turn into a bad child and not just the terrible two's? You know those terrible kids you see at Wal-Mart kicking and screaming and acting really horrible... how did they end up that way? How long do you tolerate the Terrible Two's? Does it turn into what your child really is? Or will one day Calvin miraculously turn back into the lovabe, hugable, kissable, snuggable little boy that he was just a few days ago?

Nobody warned me that the Terrible Two's could be so hard on the Mom. Nobody said that there might be times when your child is so mean that you go to your room and cry. And nobody told me that the Terribe Two's meant that your child would pretend not to love you and leave you feeling sad so much of the time.

Do you have children? Have you had to deal with the Terrible Two's? How did you get through it??? I really don't want to take xanax every day until this is over! ;-) Something's got to change!


Amy said...

Christina! I just read the terrible two's blog entry....and it made me laugh. Only because I've been there with Jackson. I still remember the day he slapped me in the face because he didn't get his way. So hard it left a little hand print. then there was refusing to eat, holding him down on the floor and forcing a toothbrush in his mouth while he's screaming cause he doesn't want to brush teeth, or refusing to stay in his bed and having to hold him in bed forcably until he falls asleep. All the while I'm exhausted and crying! And then there was the day when I spanked him, and he turned around, looked me straight in the eye and in the snootiest nastiest voice said,"that didn't hurt!". Keep in mind, the terrible 2's won't last forever. And more importantly they are no reflection of the young man Calvin is going to grow into. Nor are they a reflection in any way of your parenting. you do a great job with him! They are rough, and Jackson's lasted til he was about 4!!!! (sorry!) Every mom goes into her room and cries, you need too...give yourself time to let it all out, take a breathe and then you can deal with more and not totally lose control. sometimes kids do something even though it's wrong because of the reaction. He got your attention when he pulled the stuff out of the socket. And then it was over and he needed more attention so he went to your drawers. you guys just went through alot of changes, and Calvin knows you're leaving soon with Chris on your honeymoon. That may be affecting him more than you know. He may be feeling a little left out or need more attention or just be scared cause you're leaving. Good luck...there is no perfect answer....but I promise you he will grow out of it someday!!! Love Amy

Dawn said...

It will get better, but it will take a while. Beware. Daelyn had more of a terrible 3 stage than the 2's and when she was acting up, I just wanted to get rid of her. It was horrible. The first time she told me she didn't want me as a mommy, that was the worst. I don't think she knew what she was saying, but it still hurt.
The best advice I have is:
Don't give in to him, stay firm, and keep things the way they are. Give him plenty of mommy and me time along with lots of his own space. Once he realizes that discipline comes with mean words and that he won't get his way, he will start to get back to his loveable Calvin self. Promise. Lots of *Hugs* in the meantime. Call if you need to! I've been there and will go there again before long. Oh, the horror.